Virendra's Blog

The Diwali came and passed. Said to be a time of lights, crackers and sweets, it resembles more a period of cleaning, purchasing and baksheeshing. Since I moved to a new house, the three aspects were even more prominent. Armed with two different kind of brooms, a wiper, half a dozen of buckets of water and litres of phenyl, I spent two whole days cleaning my house. And what was the end result? It took 13 seconds for my parents to show me the cob-webs I had missed, the bundle of hair and dust-mites under the bed, the balcony grills full of slime and the marks of my foot-prints following me. Mom-Dad, you think you folk fared better 25 years back??
I could not figure what to buy on dhan-teras. You’re supposed to buy a gold product – preferably a kitchen utensil (for those of us in the Kaliyug, it can be a convenient steel product). People were discussing buying electric-cookers, steam-irons and OTGs. I don’t know how these things could fit into the utensils category. Maybe it’s because I am a 20th century born man.

Baksheesh is something which people in India are proud of.
We do not take bribe,
we do not take any fees,
we do not take any daan,
we just want our baksheesh. (wah, wah)

So there were five society guards, one maali, one electrician, one plumber, one doodhwala, one presswala, one kaamwali, one paperwala, one cablewala (running out of steam here) … Now each one has a different choice too. Sarees for female and No, cheap stuff from discount sale won’t do, they are all aware of the latest trends and prices (cursing all those saas-bahu serials to the fullest). Boxes of sweets (“gheewali honi chahiye saheb”). And to top it all, a minimum of Rs.50. But I am proud of my persuasive skills (one of my neighbour had to pay Rs. 500, a Saree worth Rs. 1100 and 1 kilo of sweet to her maid).
And yes, you can’t say “no” to anybody – afterall, “jaroorat padne pe hum hi to kaam aayenge na saheb”.
Absolutely correct. Glad that festive season is gone … for now.